The black eye is on the other Pine
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Time travelers pig AU! What if DIPPER was the one that got hit in the eye instead of Wendy? Let's explore that!
1. Chapter 1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Slenderman sighs as he sees Dipper once again, about to AGAIN allow Wendy to be hurt to appease a spoiled brat and win a dumb pig! Dipper is so busy self-crying over Wendy going back into Robbie's arms- well, that plus Slendermans invisibility -he doesn't see Slenderman zap the ball-

**"̸̹̋̆̽̆̾̔̓̉̕͠A̶̧̛̛͍̜̜̼̲̫̾͒̈́͊̇̈͂̀͒͌̈́̚l̴̢̨̘̦̥̝̩͕̠͈̞̹͕̀̌͂͛̋͐̑̓͠ř̶̡̢̦͎͙̽̈́̓͗̔̒̀͛͊͊̌í̶̳̦̳͓̄͐̒̀̏̓̇̄͑̅̆͛͝g̷̗̭͍̝͖͗̉̄̌͋̅̾̚͠ͅh̵̦͓̼̺̱̲̞̮̄͆̒́̾ţ̵̪̙̬͙̫͍̰͎̮͎͎͍̮̯̂̀͒̄̀̍̈́̇,̶̛͕͕͗̃͐̋̚͝ ̴̡̛̮̺̥̦̬͎̳̟̰̼͛̊̔̌͊́̿͛́̊̚͘l̷̨̢̧̧͓͉̗̮̞̹̼̞̟͓̑e̸̛̩͔̞̠͎͉̒̇͑̈́͆̂͋̚͝t̸̨̨̧̨̛̫̦̰̹͙̺͓̗̙͌͌̾̉̑̾'̸̪̟̺̠̋̇̃̿̆̀̃̉̔̋̊̚͝͠s̶̤͈̹̈́̏͛͘ ̶͉̭͕̘̥͕̀̀̅͝ͅt̸̡̝̹͔͐̽͆͆͐͑̔̍͘͘r̸̜͈̩̖͈̬̝̲̞̮̬͎̓̀͋̊̅́̈́̕ỷ̸̛͓̗͙̱̯̜͎̙̹̺̩̼̲ ̸̢͈̳̖͇̭̻͍̭̥̜͎̊̐̂̾̀͜ş̵͍͓̼̦̲̦̣́͂̾̆̇ǫ̷̞͕͚͍͔̫̲̥͖͔̝̺̮́̽̂̏͒̌̈́̏̍̊͒̚ͅṁ̵̢̢͔͉̺̣͉̬̫̲̳̯̀̿͒̐͜͝͝ͅe̶̲͈͂̔͊͗t̴͕̾̈́̽͌ͅḩ̶̧̢̢̻̘̖̜̝̱̲̼͎̉͒̚ͅi̷̡̹̦̳̠͉̼͋̆͘͘n̷͓̘̳̹̭͛̒́̍͋̏̈́̀́̏́̽͘͘ģ̶͍͎̭̱͉̝̗̟̣̬̎́̐̍̈́͝ ̸̨̡͕̤͍͓̲̟̮͚̗̖̰̊̽̈ȃ̸̗͖̱̠̜̥̪̋͂́̏̎͘͠͝ ̶̝̫̮́̐̈́͑ḻ̷̡̖̣͙͙̩̱͙̪͉̯͇̍͆̀́͌̅̍̓̓̾̚͠͝i̸͈͖͕͕̱͓͐̾̍̑t̵̢̨̧̠̦̫͎̘̯̖͓̗̘̗͐̅̓̑̓ͅţ̶̛̪͙͉͕̽̆̂̊͐̽́̋̾͒̈́̐͜͜ḻ̵̩̗̦͚̯̤̳̲̼̦̓̐̂̉̃͗̍̏̚͜é̸̘̫̝͇̦̼̓̄̊̀̏͒͆̇̆͌̈́͋̕͘ͅ ̴̛̟̼͎͙̦̭̦̻̿̄̄̊̿͊͂́̄͆́̌̕͜͠d̴̙̽̔̌͂͂͂͊̆̾̇̓͆̈͠į̸̢͎̹͍̤̻̣͎̻͎͕͖̜̗̉͐̑̍̉f̷͈̻͚͉̅̃͐͝f̴̢̗̭͕̼͚̝͇̤͔̙̰̾̀̋̃̈̃̀̿̐̌̆͋̕͜ḙ̷̊̑̿̈̋́͛̈́̊̈́̓̍͝͝͝r̴̻̬͖͖͇̟͍̭̲̣̼͈̓̓̔͐̈̀̚̚ę̶̧̳̳̦͓̥͉̤̫͔̻̹̄͌̃̅̋͌̔̅͛͋͛͘n̶͉̔̋t̴͕͂́̊̌͐̎̕̚͘͝͝ ̴̛͉͚̙̝̩̝̝͔̀͘͜͜ṭ̴̲̰̱̥͓̊́̇͊̈́͊̇h̴̖̪̗̗͙̯̠̥̣̺̃̉̏̿̚͠ḯ̶͚͎̇̓̽̈́̑͊̔͂̀̚͝͝s̴̭͙̈́͑͊̈́̓̍͗͝ ̴̡̧̳͍̥̪̹̼͕̯͙̠̤͊ͅţ̴̛͍͕̥̮͇̞̤̜̤̥͗̀͐͐͗̇̅̚̚͜͝į̶̨̨̩͓̲̟̖͇̪̲̺̺͇̂̅̃̏̏̀̍̒́͛̀̈́͘m̴͎̺͔͇̲̝̙̼̏̈̾̒̔͛̀͆̔͛̃̕e̸̥͎̳̖̼̓͗̀͝.̶̢̖̩͇̝̺͔̀͗̅̆̋̄.̵̢̨͉̝̼̬̀̎̒̐̈́̉̕.̷̡͈̭̬͖̻̥̲̼̈̊"̷̤̠͓͎̗̰̼̯̪͉͉̪͚̦̬̈́̍̽͂̂̐́́̐͘**

He causes the ball to twist trajectory ever so slightly-

**CRACK!**

**OW!**

Screamed...Dipper? "Dipper, you okay?!" Shouts the concerned teen red-head. Indeed, her friend had both a black eye and a broken nose. Concerned, Wendy tries to help him.

And of course Robbie shows up, "Hey Wendy, I was wondering if you want to go out sometime-

"Seriously!? My friend is injured and your asking me out!? What is wrong with you!?"

Robbie snorted, "Come on, the pipsqueak is-

**CRACK!**

Quickly wiping off the blood and teeth shards from her fist, Wendy grabbed Robbie's dropped snowcone and used it on Dippers eye.

The game owner coughed, "Uh...you won the animal-

"Put it on the ground, I'll take it later." Said Wendy not taking her eyes off Dipper. Mable, running over to thank him...sees his condition and helps

Meanwhile, an invisible Slenderman is about to smite Waddles...when the pig eats an unconscious Robbie's pants. The eldritch abomination- along with everyone else -laughs at this.

**"̶̧̨͖̪̯̣̭͔͙͚͍̃̔̎͛̍̍́̉͒̚͝͝ͅǑ̵͖̥͚̩̜̳͍̭̈͆̾͗̓̋̉̾̈͑̔̒͊k̵̟̹̥̭̘̦̏̉̍̿̈́́͘ạ̷̲̱̫̱̬̱̗̹̩̙̅̒̔͛͊̈́̒̐̽͠ͅy̸̳̣͍̻̤͋͛̓͂̌̉͂̑̂̈̆̈̃̇ ̷̡̥̱͇̪̖̠̯͍̈́̃̏̄͊̍̈́̋̋̃̌̏̔̐͜ͅp̵͚̹̉̄́͆̓̀̓͌͂̿̓̊̔i̷̡̩̞̥̦̗̟̦̬͔̟͈̱͎̤͐̎̈͒̄́͋̔̽̄̽̚g̶̛͔͓̟͍̘͍͍̖͐̒̂̒̊͝,̷͉̥̈͗́̃͘ ̴̧̧̨̨̭̝̭͉̯̩͚̯͓̀͗̀̑͑̏̆͘͘j̴̧̧̩̖͍̯̍̈́̄̎̋̈́̈̒̇͒͝ù̷̡͕̦̫̺͕̲̝̯̬̯̘͎̱́̍̽͘̕ş̷̧̘͉͎̰͎̽̊̈́̓̀́́̑̚ͅt̴͖͚̥̐ ̷̡̛̝̻̙̤͕̘̤̼̲̦́̇̔͋́̍̎͊́̈́̀̚͠f̸̳̲̯͉͔͕͇̖̗̞͐̍̒̿̈́̈́̍̀̈́o̴̧̟̞̩̱̠̪̻̭͓̠̹̹̠͆̂̾̈r̶͍̯̖̻͓͂̈́͊͑́̒͆͋͜͝ ̷̨̛̯̘̬̩͎̳̜̥̖͊̅̓̀̾̈́̆́̀͌̑͘͘͜͠t̸̳̰̣̤̭͍̦͙͚̫̹̆͗́́͑̃̈̆͂̀̋̽̕͜ͅh̵̥̻̉̌̌͐̉̑̈̓̅̽̈́͒͌̕͜a̸̖͎͉̟͉̽̉̈́t̸̢̢̧̹̟̺͖̭̥̳͓͙̗̄̉͂̀̆͂̉̊̐̈́͘ͅ ̶̯̹͍̯̱̼̮̙̲̟͎̒̊Î̴̡̹͓͌̌͛͗͘͘ ̷̺̰̘̩̖̣̙̱̮̝͓͙̦̪̌͌̆̌̍͗̌͌̍̓͛́͗̕̕͜w̵̦͍̜̺̾̉͋ò̷̞͓͚̠͙̌̌̃̽̉̂́̽̅͒̆͋̿̆n̷̛̼̜̘̼̲͈͌͌̃̇̃͗͑̀̔̿̅̃͠'̵̨̘̺̤͍͚̳̘̣͙̫̫̝̮̀̉̄̎́͂́͛̑͆̀͘̕͝ţ̵̣̥̺̻̳̗̬̭͇̽͌̀ ̸̲̠̻̦͙̱͔͎̓̅̅̅̂̌̂̅̈́̏͂̃͜m̵͖̋͑̽̀̍̂̅̍̚ū̵̧̺̦̻̙̯̦̺͇́̈́̔̿͌̔̍̆͝ͅͅř̵̡͇̻̩̲̻ḋ̷̝̥͎̯̉͂̐̚e̸̜̗̹̫̼͈̠̹̳̻̤͕̬͒̈͒͐̇̔̀͐̉̕͜͝r̸̤̤̼̙̱̗̭͂͑̍̓̿́ ̷̟̣͉̼͍̱͍̂̽͌̄́̊̽̒̀̏͊̕y̸̢̬̳̘̥͖͓̳͎͉̯͔̲̓́̔͛̈́̊͋̍̚͜ͅỏ̴̢̱͕̲̺͔́͗͛̋͊̅ȕ̵̦̀̈́̎̌͒͛͆̌͐͒͝.̶̦̩͙̜̤͍̝͙̭̫̯͖̪̉̀̈ ̴̨͍̈́́̈́S̸̠̳̖̱̪͔͍͙̹̮̩̼̾̄̽̊̍͝͝ͅṱ̸̢̙̱͍̱͈̪̱͕̍͜ͅą̷̨̰̥̟̦̼̰͔̱̤̠̉̍͜ÿ̶̨̛̛̮̮̲̘̄͒̄̑̅̄̀̔̀̾̐̚ ̷̱͍͇̬̖̤͔̝̜̥̫͙͈͈̈́̃̉̉̋͗̀́̎͛́̋͘͜f̵̨̨̢̪̞̯̳͈̖̣̈͊̇̐͊̾r̸̮̊͐͗̃͋͛̿̈́͂̎͒͋͒͠o̵͍͓̫̼̱̭͍̣̮̟̟͍͑̈́s̶̢̝̱̘͈̬͚̥̜̖̹̞̥̆̂͑̀͗̕̚͜͠t̷̫͈͍̞͙͓͜͠ỹ̶̱͉͙̊̾̍̂̀͝ ̷̖̺̣̼͍̼͓̻̰͔̞̮̱̟̮̏̈́̇̿̀͋̌̚̚ģ̷̪͖̤͙͓͉͙͙̬̦̲̯́̀͂͜ͅơ̶̙̻̠̊̈́̋͆̒͒̆̆̎̿́̚ö̶̗̫̠̥̯̤̙̞̭́̀͋̌̓ď̴̡̡̧̲̦̹͚̣͉̠̰͖͛̐̉̊͜ͅ ̷̢̖̲̈́͐͌̈́̑͑́̉͌̒̚͘b̸̛͎͎̭͖͍̘̪͓͂͛̌̎̑́͑̈̈̃̓́͠͝ư̸̥̫͑͋͋͗̈́͌̉̑̚͝d̴̜̀̂d̶̮̖̹̈́̊͋̔̌ỳ̵̖̝̀͗͑̓̂̊̐̏͠ͅ.̴̢̱̣͉̻͙̖̰͆̍̕̕ͅ"̸̻͕̫̺͙̖̮̖̓̓̔̂̐͆̃̔̏̆̚**

And with that, he leaves the scene and the pig unmolested...

While Pacifica handles an angry chicken, Wendy asks Dipper how he's feeling. Dipper asks if he won the stuffed toy. Wendy shows the platypanda to him and Dipper says "then this black eye was worth it, I got to see you smile..." Wendy is of course REALLY touched by that and starts to cry happily thanking him giving him a kiss on the cheek.

As for Blendin?...eh, who cares?

...A couple days later...

"So...dad...I was wondering...

"I'm not letting you drive until you get a license Wendy, we've been over this." Grunted Stan annoyed.

"Wha? No, I was just going to ask if Dipper could come on our camping trip!" Asked Wendy equally annoyed.

Dan frowned and looked at the little runt waiting in the dinning room skeptically, he was about to say no...and then he saw his shiner!

He looks at it in deep thought, "Based on the shape of the bruise, how long it's been there from the coloration and the size of it I'd say you he into quite a fight there..." He chuckles, "Seems his size hides a little Warrior...Okay, he can come."

Wendy looks at him puzzled, "You think Dipper got in a fight?" Dan looks at her confused... "Cause you're right!" Lied Wendy quickly. "He totally got In a fight! With the jerk that stole the stuffed thing he won me at the Fair!" Wendy says nervously.

Dan nods and tells Dipper to go and get ready, Dipper understands not to dispute anything and goes to do just that...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Dan was genuinely surprised that Dipper had been able to keep up. The most direct spot for their 'private' camping spot was basically jumping from one tree to the next...

He was sure he'd moan about it and ask they walk instead- giving him reason to kick his wussy but off the mountain -but not only did he go along with it...but he was keeping up with them...Dan owed the kid an apology, he was a real man!

_"My poor noddle limbs are about to break!" _Sobbed Dipper silently to himself as he (somehow) kept up with the Corduroys...

...

When they get to the camping spot Dipper asks about sleeping arrangements and Dan says he sleeps outside while Wendys brothers sleep in the big tent and Wendy sleeps in her own mega-tent- "Boosh! Bought it with my Shack money!"

So Dipper is given sleep the spare to sleep in... but the spare is found to be shredded, one of Wendys brothers stashed some jerky in an opened bag in it from the last trip. A badger got into it and ruined it... the same Badger the Gnomes made their Queen, weirdly enough. With Dipper out a Tent Wendy says he can sleep with her,

Dipper goes red in the face, as Dan barks angrily at the innuendo. Wendy reassures that it's roomy enough for two and it'll be fine...

...

It's not fine. Wendy got into the tent before Dipper as he really likes Dans Stew.

When he goes in he backs in to zip the tent up and turns around to see Wendy sprawled on the ground asleep and she somehow managed to sleep squirm her shirt off... this wouldn't be so bad...if she was wearing a bra ...but as they'd been 'roughing it'...no such luck.

Dipper freezes up and can't bring himself to move to go into his sleeping bag for an hour until Wendy sleep squirms her boobs out of sight. Dipper then buries himself in the sleeping bag knowing full well that if his head is poking out nothing good will happen...

The next morning Wendy groans as she awakes...she sees herself 'free to the world...sand shrugs it off since it wasn't the first time...and rolls over...right near Dipper still in his sleeping bag!

Suddenly remembering she wasn't alone, Wendy panicked! Dipper! Did you see anything!?" Dipper...who'd been too stressed to sleep at all...quickly asked "Uh...see what?"

Wendy blushes...but sighs with relief...she grumbles 'nothing' and hastily puts her shirt back on...and they both awkwardly shuffle to get breakfast.

Dipper pulls out a bag of wild blueberries he picked on the hike and presents them to Wendy to add to the flapjacks.

Wendy thanks him and without realizing it, puts two blueberries on the two pancakes in such a way that it...reminds Dipper of two BIG other things...

While a flustered tried to both eat the pancakes(He couldn't just NOT eat them, Wendy made them for him! It would be rude to not eat them...not to mention suspicious) and not look weird while doing so.

He was so busy doing so he didn't notice one of Wendy's brothers walk up and have the following exchange:

"Hey Wendy. You need to be more careful how you sleep! I went into your tent after Dipper made smores to borrow your toothbrush and your 'heaving beasts' were out in the open for all to see."

Wendy was about shout at him to not be gross and to lay off her toothbrush...when something he said hit her..."wait, Dipper was still outside?"

Her bro nodded, thankfully still too tired to put the pieces together himself...

Wendy frowned as she walked away, _"Wait...if I really was exposed like that...and Dipper was still outside and came in later...he would've totally been able to see me!" _A flustered Wendy shakes her head. _"Your overthinking this Wendy! This is your bro your talking about! He probably misrememberd things! Besides Dipper said...well...okay, I guess he didn't technically say 'I didn't see your breasts'...and he could've easily just said that 'See what' to throw me off...No! I'm not considering this! It was an awkward 'morning moment', it's over now, I'm moving on with my day now!"_

Sadly, not everyone was 'moving on with their day'.

Wendy's brother's had just had his morning sugar...and his brain cells were finally firing! "Hey wait a minute...that jerk saw my sisters 'twosome'! I ought to tell dad...

He looked over and saw Dipper impresses Dan by getting the knots he shows Dipper right off the bat(the boys took much longer to learn)...

He sighs, "Nah, dads having too much of a good time...also, as angry as I am at him now...Dipper doesn't deserve having his arms ripped off...but he's still getting a taste of his own medicine, if nothing else!"

He gets his other two brothers together and they start to plot...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Dan hammers the last nail into the stone keeping it in place. "There, that should hold it." He says looking at the previously unstable natural hotspring that overlooked a raging river.

He turned to Wendy, "Alright, that should keep it steady. But no rough-housing! It's not my best work!"

Wendy, in her one-piece red swimsuit rolled her eyes. "Dad it's a hot spring, not a football stadium. I think I can handle sitting down and soaking in one place."

"That's the kind of Hubris that will let the badgers get you!" Snapped Dan.

Wendy sighed, "Sure, whatever you say dad. I'll keep that in mind."

Dan frowns, "No you won't." He said with a sad shake of his head as he walks off.

Wendy snorts, "You got that right." She moans in delight as she gets in. "Dipper, what's taking you!? This is heaven!"

"Coming!" Shouts Dipper from the campsite as he tore through his bag. "Where did I put my swim trunks? I know I brought some with me!"

He doesn't notice his trunks being put back in his discarded pile from a nearby bush...

He sees them, "Ah, there they are! I must've thrown them out in my hast to find them!" He quickly changes in the tent and runs off to the hot spring...scratching at his suddenly very firm and uncomfortable trunks...

The brothers in the bush chuckle. "I got a feeling your dip will be more relaxing for our sister then you, buddy. "He smirks as he holds up a can of extra-strength spray starch...

The other brothers look at him disgusted, "Uh...yeah. You need to rethink that taunt man...or at least phrase it better..."

...

Dipper was in heaven, relaxing in a hotspring next to the semi-naked body of his sexy love interest... What could be better? Even the discomfort of his trunks had left him!

"Hey, Dipper! I'm getting parched! Maybe get us some sodas? I smuggled some in my pack!"

Dipper smiled, nodded and got up...and unintentionally flashed his naked bits for Wendy to see...

There was a long awkward silence...as both of them stared down at Dipper's shriveled up needle-dick and even smaller berries...the tattered remains of his swimtrunks now visible swimming about in the bubbling soup...

Wendy...wasn't proud of her reaction...but she couldn't help it! It was the perfect storm of funny!...so she laughed...LONG and loud...with Youthful abandon...

This immediately stopped when she saw the look of devastated look on Dipper's face, sobbing he turned to run out-

"Wait! Dipper! No! I'm sorry!" Shouts Wendy as she grabs his leg. Dipper, just upset tries to shake free. But an insistent Wendy pulls back-

**CRACK!**

Which, unfortunately seemed to be enough rough-housing to shatter the hotsrping barrier, causing a screaming Dipper to fall into the ragging river-

"DIPPER!" Shours a panicky Wendy as she tries to grab him back-

**CRACK!**

Unfortunately, she shifted her weight onto the already weakend part of the barrier. Which caused it to break under her weight, for her to fall-

**RIP!**

-and cause her one-piece to snagged and ripped off before falling with Dipper...

The brothers gape in horror as both are swept naked down the raging rapids and out of sight.

One brother gulped, "Well...that backfired..."

All three found their shoulders being grabbed...they turned around and saw their father biting at the bit in rage...

"Boys...if not for your sisters plight...I'd take a belt to you...but forget that now! We have your sister to save! I'll spank you later!"

The brothers groaned...but complied...and together they ran after the two adolescents as they were swept away to seemingly certain doom...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


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